Are you having fun?

Steve- Are you having fun?

Me- Right now? No, I’m not.

Before you say to yourself, yeah, work isn’t always fun, I promise you I know that. This question was posed to me on a Monday afternoon in which I should have still had that feeling like anything was possible for the week because I kind of love Mondays- they’re a fresh start. But I was panicking because I hadn’t finished last week’s work yet, let alone started this week’s. I’m writing this on Thursday now and it shouldn’t be surprising that I will not be finishing this week’s work either and it will get transferred to next week’s to do list.

I used to romanticize those long work weeks and late nights. I have really fond memories of the year that my husband worked for me full time and we would make another full pot of coffee at 7pm and stay up all night getting ready for an event or packing orders. Maybe it’s because I’m 10 years older now or the stakes are higher because I’m 10 years closer to theoretical retirement, but it doesn’t feel the same. I like a good routine now. On Mondays, I do all of my soldering and get that jewelry into the first tumbler. On Tuesdays, I transfer the jewelry into the second tumbler and start prepping other designs that are hand assembled or beaded, etc. Wednesdays are for setting stones and then Thursdays and Fridays are for things like cutting and assembling chains, shaping wires, all the finishing touches. This works most of the time, but if I can’t finish, then that work disrupts next week’s system and snow balls out of control until things inevitably slow down. But that could go on for weeks or months before it evens out again. My routine doesn’t have any wiggle room, so I made a change. For the past 8 years or so, I have had my processing time for wholesale orders set at 2 weeks. One week to make the jewelry and another to pack it up. I currently have help with this, but spent the last 3 years packing orders at night on the couch while watching tv to trick myself into thinking I wasn’t really working. I just changed my processing time to 3 weeks. Is this going to miraculously change my life? Maybe. It’s worth a try. I still have another chaotic week of finishing up open orders before I can find out.

I need to get back to a routine that still allows me to stop production to work out an idea that just popped into my head. I get ideas for new designs all day long. Like every day. It happens in the shower, when I’m walking my dog, right before I’m going to bed. There are notebooks and little scraps of paper, envelopes from junk mail, with quick drawings of earrings on them all over my house. And then plenty of designs that end up forgotten because I thought I would remember it in the morning and was too tired to get out of bed and write it down. I never remember. This is what keeps things interesting for me. I’ve never had a moment when I didn’t know what to make next. I have a back log of new design ideas that I may never get through and it drives me crazy, but also drives me to keep making.

I started this Substack over 2 years ago thinking I would post every other month or so, something I could reasonably keep up with. But on top of being too precious about it, I really didn’t have the time. I have so many things I want to do, I would need 2 or 3 clones of myself to get them done in this lifetime. I like being busy. I like learning how to do new things and having a million hobbies. It’s frustrating when I’m my own boss and I still won’t let myself take week nights or weekends off to do some of these things. I was recently re-listening to an audiobook by David Sedaris in which a friend of his talks about how everyone has 4 burners- family, friends, health, and work. To be successful, you have to turn off one burner, to be really successful, you have to turn off 2. And I realized, I’ve turned off 3. I think I’m writing this to hold myself accountable for turning the burners back on. I work at home by myself all day and my dog doesn’t notice what I’m doing unless it’s her dinner time. Will you hold me accountable?

So no, I’m not having fun right now but I want to and I know how to and I will figure out how to again.